Why can't I find the light at the end of the tunnel.‏

So...  Once again, my week was full of ups and downs.  I don't think I've even been so consistently frustrated in my entire life.  I don't want to go into details, but I can say that it isn't something I can change or control, so the frustration just gets worse because there is nothing I can do to fix the problem.  But!  I am told that everything on the mission happens for a reason and that this will somehow make me a better person.  Just trust in the Lord I suppose.

Today specifically, I was basically frustrated to tears.  I was actually quite angry on the inside.  I got a hair cut (pretty basic, just trimmed off 3 inches and got my bangs cut back so that they weren't always hanging in my eyes.  Although I do wish I could have gotten a cut from Maranda Miller before I came into the MTC) and I suppose it refreshed me a bit, so currently I feel a bit better.  Although I do think the best solution would be to not be frustrated at all.  Must become more Christlike.

We had Mission Conference yesterday for fast Sunday.  Basically it's like a two hour devotional.  It was pretty good but, my favorite part was definitely sacrament meeting.  The testimonies that were born were beautiful and all in Chinese.  It was spiritually uplifting and very enjoyable.

I feel like I'm in this endless loop of happy for a few hours, then irritated and frustrated the rest of the day.  It's very tiring.  There are certain people here, where when I am with them, I can forget all the things that upset me, but the minute we stop talking or the moment is over, the feelings come rushing back.

Sometimes I feel like I'm happy, but most of the time I feel real crappy.  I'm not saying I want to go home.  I know I'm supposed to be here.  But I am getting quite exhausted from having my emotions thrown around.  Sometimes I wish I could just go to Smiths and buy some family sized bags of Salt and Vinegar or Sour Cream and Onion chips and just eat away my emotions as I watch a sci-fi television show.  That may be the hardest part about being here.  Before the mission, if there was something going on in my life, I knew what I could do to make me feel better.  Whether it be video games, tv shows, music, movies, Jamba Juice or junk food.  I had a way to take care of myself.  Here, I have to find a new way, and I don't think I've figured it out yet.

I know it's a short one this time around, but I don't have much else to say.  I'll have Kat put up some jovial looking pictures to make the post seem less depressed. 

Sister Hsu
Note from Kat: I told Jacqueline about titling the posts, so She will be naming her own posts, as well from now on. Also, she wants me to continue editing her typos, so I'll be doing that as well. :)